MY DEAR AUNT SUDH
My dear aunt Sudh. Her name itself, Sudh, meaning "pure" in Hindi, perfectly enclose the essence of who she was. She was not just an aunt; she was an embodiment of love, discipline, and unwavering resilience.
What set Aunt apart was the combination of strength and compassion. She was bold, unabashed, and always stood for her family at all costs. Yet, under this fierce exterior lay a heart full of empathy and understanding. She knew when to be a warrior for her loved ones and when to be the comfort they so desperately needed.
She showed us that strength wasn't the lack of softness, but rather when to be firm and yet let the love and kindness shine through. Even though she is gone from this earth, the values and lessons she taught are deeply set in my heart. Her legacy lives on through the love she sowed, the lives she touched, and the strength she gave to all of us.
There are people who leave an indelible mark on our lives, not just through their love and care, but through their sheer willpower and strength. My dear aunt was one such person. She lived her life with grace, discipline, and boundless compassion. But in the end, her fiercest enemy—cancer—took her away from us.
A Sudden Transformation
Aunt was a healthy, vibrant woman who radiated strength. Yet, within just three
months, I watched her body change in ways I never thought possible. Cancer,
relentless and cruel, slowly consumed her physical being.
I still remember her on her deathbed, frail and in pain. Her once-strong body was riddled with bedsores and unrelenting ache. She looked at us, her voice filled with agony, and pleaded, "Please help me, I cannot bear this pain anymore." Those words haunt me because they revealed the depths of her suffering—a suffering she endured with unmatched bravery.
Aunt fought valiantly against the disease. She tried every possible treatment, leaving no stone unturned in her fight to live. Even as the disease made it impossible for her to eat, she would tell us she was hungry. Her body couldn’t bear food, but her soul longed for the simple joys she remembered from her childhood—plucking fresh vegetables with her friends.
I believe,
in those moments, her soul was revisiting the happiest times of her life,
moments when she was carefree and surrounded by family as a daughter. It was as
if her spirit, even as her body weakened, was reaching out to relive the purity
and innocence of her earlier days.
Unimaginable
Pain, Unyielding Spirit
Her pain
was unimaginable. Her once-beautiful, glowing skin turned pale and yellowish.
Her long, lush hair was gone. Every breath she took was like a battle, and yet,
she endured.
Even when
she had the option to take painkillers, she chose not to, after being told they
might push the end. She bore her suffering with a bravery that is hard to
comprehend, enduring the unthinkable because she wanted to fight for every
moment of life she could grasp.
A Final Goodbye to a Life
There are moments in life that leave a mark so deep they echo forever. For me, one of those moments was the last day of my beloved aunt. The memory of that day still haunts me, and as I write this, it feels as though I’m reliving it all over again. The sound of her heavy breaths echoes in my mind, pulling at my heartstrings and bringing tears to my eyes.
Her final Moment
It was
early morning in the hospital, 4:28 AM. Her breaths were laboured, and I could
see her fighting a battle she could no longer win. I called out to her,
“Aunty, Aunty, Aunty,” hoping she would respond.
She tried to open her eyes but couldn’t. When I shifted to look at her, I
noticed her tears—yellow, a heart-breaking sign of how much her body was failing
her. In that moment, my heart ached like never before.
I tried to
hold on to hope, telling myself that somehow she might survive, but seeing
those yellow tears crushed every last bit of it. At 10:04 PM that evening, she
took her final breath. Three deep, heavy breaths—each one a reminder of the
fragility of life—marked her departure. Her jaw tightened as though the pain
and struggle had finally left her body.
Those three breaths will forever echo in my memory, a haunting reminder of how quickly life changes.
At her
funeral, I found myself surrounded by the remains of her unfulfilled dreams. I
saw the clothes she had bought but never wore, the ornaments she had lovingly
set aside for her future daughter-in-law, the sandals she had saved for a
function she had looked forward to attending. Each object spoke of a life she
had spent giving to others, always putting her family first, yet never fully
living for herself.
Even her
loyal dogs waited for her, unaware that she would never return to them.
Lessons she left Behind
Aunt was a woman of boundless humility and generosity. She always prioritized her
husband and children, never thinking of herself. Her life was a testament to
selflessness, but it also carried a silent lesson: the importance of cherishing
life and allowing yourself moments of joy.
She taught
me to be humble, to give without expecting in return, and to appreciate the
fleeting nature of relationships. She reminded me that no matter how much
effort we put into building and nurturing bonds, everything fades one day.
Yet, she
also taught me gratitude—for the people we love, for the moments we share, and
for the memories that remain when those we love are gone.
Always
in My Heart
Aunt memory is etched into my soul. I carry her with me wherever I go. When I
travel, I find myself thinking of her. Her voice, her laughter, her unwavering
support—they live on in my heart, as vivid as if she were still here with me.
She taught
me the value of humility, the beauty of giving, and the inevitability of life’s
end. She showed me that while everything may fade away, the love we give and
the lessons we leave behind endure forever.
I will
always remember her as the strong, fierce, and selfless woman who taught me to
cherish life and relationships, even in their impermanence. Aunt will
always be a part of me, guiding me with her example and reminding me to live a
life of love, gratitude, and humility.
Here’s a heartfelt poem for your beloved aunt honouring her memory:
Dear Aunt
Dear aunt,
I still see thee in my dreams,
Thy
youthful face , a pleasant smile,
I see
through a numb eye,
Thy
presence mesmerized my inner soul.
On thy suffering days,
Thy skin pale,
Thy yellowish body,
All because of cancer.
I could see
thee fighting for life.
Thou had
endured pain for months,
Oh aunt!
When thou wert screaming in thy pain,
I wished I could have vanished thy agony.
During those months of ache,
Thou couldn’t properly eat a meal.
“If God Ever Existed”
Please, let her enjoy one good meal.
When thou
wert in thy last day in bed,
I shouted
“Aunty! Aunty!
Thou tried
so hard to open thine eyes,
Thou moved
thine hand a little for me.
Thy last breath,
The sound was so massive,
Still echoing in my eardrums
That I could never forget.
Oh! My dear
aunt,
Thy
kindness, thy humbleness
And thy
legacy always remain upon on us,
I know thou
art with us all the time.
My Aunty and my Niece (my baby) (2022)
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